We had a veterans day gathering in my prison. It was the usual flag salutin’, god praisin’, country-musical propaganda, but I felt that it was my duty to go… and, during an open mic, speak candid blasphemy to about a 100 grizzled veterans. You see I believe the Real unpatriotic disrespect to veterans is the sugarcoated jingoism of hiding the truth behind the bodies of our war dead. Spoilers: at about the second paragraph of my speech the chaplain cut off my microphone, but I ignored him and finished speaking anyway. To my surprise I was greeted with a good bit of applause, lots of firm handshakes, and even a hug of appreciation. This is what I said…

“Hello comrades, I know this can be a difficult day for many of us. We are expected to put on a brave smile, salute the flag, pray to a god we may or may not believe in, and generally act like our service in the ‘good ol’ days’ in uniform were the best days of our lives. Respectfully, I would instead like to tell you my truth.

I was born into the Soviet Union and raised in Siberia to the north of North Korea. My family has a long history of fighting fascists and then being killed by Stalinist thugs, so, when the latest KGB dictator took power in Russia, we moved west. Around that time, U.S. led NATO forces intervened in the Kosovo/Bosnian genocide of Algerian Muslims by Serbian Christians (At this point my mic got turned off).

So inspired was I by this ethical intervention on behalf of civilians that I resolved to join the US army myself, so I became a first-generation immigrant and, after 9/11, served in the Afghanistan war. My starry-eyed, naïve idealism that we were always in the right was quickly challenged. To be fair, by the time I left the army, there were female police officers patrolling the streets and the Taliban religious zealots were on the run, but our politician commanders chose to hand power over to other, just as bad local war lords, who practiced things like Basha Bazi (for those who don’t know, that is a ritualized form of little boy rape). I joined not to serve the interests of just one country, but the entire free world. I went to the middle east to help liberate the girls and the women of Afghanistan, not to empower the rape of its children (nor our own soldiers who were so often brutalized by our own). And yet, soldiers like me, who would not blindly obey, were shunned and blacklisted. ‘We were there to win hearts and minds,’ I was told. Who was I to question their culture? Who indeed? (By this point I was actively evading the chaplain around the room).

As a foxhole atheist, I realized the murderous zealots charging our lines did so because they worshipped the same war god as many of my American comrades, but, as I learned from free-thinking Russians and Koreans, just because a dictator may seem powerful that is no reason to obey him. And so, when the time came to reup, I turned down a commission, left the army, and became just another homeless vet. Eventually, I picked myself back up and started working for the good of my local community. I taught military grade self-defense at universities, bully-proof classes at schools, was the spokesperson for a freethinker’s association, and interviewed survivors of religious and sexual violence online from all over the world. In 2017, I was working for Homeland Security’s Federal Protective Services, and, while off duty, I had a delusional break from reality and thought I was back in Afghanistan, so, in crazed terror, shot down a friend, who was courageously trying to keep my from killing myself. I was given 40 years in prison (that is considered a double life sentence in more… compassionate countries). It has been a long road facing my mental illness, my guilt, my shame, my grief, and my self-loathing, but after a lot of hard work, honest introspection, and critical thinking, I can honestly say that even in this dungeon I am healthier and happier than I ever was before, and I am here to tell you that regardless of our surroundings you too can become honest and happy. Thank you.”