People make a lot of excuses for their families, they make a lot of excuses for their tribes, and they make a lot of excuses for their traditions. People who make these excuses for their arbitrarily assigned groups, most of which they never chose themselves, are often at the expense of all reason and at the cost of total hypocrisy. Unethical behaviors that decent people would never tolerate or try to excuse from any other group, they excuse for those groups they are a part of; Internalizing themselves as mere “parts” and demoting themselves from their whole individuality. There are plenty of healthy ways to be a part of a community and good ways to hold beliefs; however, outdated, irrational, and downright harmful traditions that decent modern people would never consider independently endorsing are defended (sometimes to the death of themselves and others) just because in-group individuals have been convinced that they owe their tribal group some kind of loyalty. I am here to tell you that you do not have to owe them anything. You are not “owned” by any group, any tradition, or any randomly assigned bloodline. If your relatives behave badly, it is okay to stand apart. Indeed, it is your moral obligation to do so. “Blood” does not make a Family. Every living being on this planet shares genetic relations; true Family must be chosen. Do not look to others for your “identity.” Those who look outside themselves for an identity are only looking for a tribe. One’s truest self can only be found within. This does not mean that you become an egotist, but that you realize everyone’s intrinsic value. Do not allow yourself to become overridden by others’ ideologies if a so-called “your” tradition seems outdated or cruel in the first case. It is okay to question tradition; it is necessary that you do so. You can and indeed should decide your own values: think for yourself, adopt only those beliefs you actually agree with, and have the courage to adopt your own ideas where the ideas of others are found lacking. You not only have the right to be true to yourself, but you also have the responsibility to only follow the values that you believe and to only believe things you deem good, just, and true. Never agree to be a slave to the make-believe of others; no matter how many adherents they claim to have or how old their imaginings may be. Many so-called, time-honored traditions spread not on the strength of their merits but on the brutality of their enforcers. Resist. If your group behaves in a way that you do not agree with, it is your duty as a member of that community to speak up. “Two heads” are only better than one if they are both critical thinkers otherwise they are just the mindless mob: easy to manipulate and easier to enrage. Raw intelligence does not guarantee a free thinker. Do not allow your eyes to glaze over, your mind to shut down, and your body to march in lockstep as that is how all collective atrocities begin. Instead, find your truest self: stand up and count for something. Should that fail, remember that breaking from a group that fails to represent you is not a crime, but it is a Necessity. Find another community, start your own, or stand alone, an ethically consistent nation of One.

“The noblest live,

And noblest die

Who make and keep

[Their] self-made laws.”

-Richard Francis Burton